Love & Marriage Reading Plan - Day 3 Reflections

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

- 1 Corinthians  13:1-3 

In life, ministry or in marriage - the verse above is so true!  However heroic the deed, however great the sermon, however strong the faith - without love all is empty and meaningless.

I am an introvert by nature.  I do not seek to be with many people to recharge my soul - I seek solace and the beauty of nature to re-energize.

And yet I am drawn inextricably to ministry.  I love sharing my faith with others through service.  I have this tendency to love the people who share my faith, the people I serve through ministry.  And with this love I do more for them, I try and share my experiences with God with them - if they would listen.

I see many who serve in church every week, who preach wonderful sermons and give great spiritual advice - yet are devoid of love.  It is a chore to them, an obligation - a means of redemption for the sins they've committed in their dark pasts.  How can you sacrifice your time, your energy and yourself without love for those you serve?  How can you do great deeds in God's glory and not love your brothers and sisters in Christ?

That fire you hear in a person's voice when a person talks about his faith and determination...  That smile that grows brighter when a person sees you arrive at prayer gatherings or group activities...  That listening ear that stays to hear you out when you know the person has a hundred or so other tasks to finish...  That heart that aches when you are in pain, when you are sick or grieving...  That is love.  God's love expressed in the actions of a true servant - the one who loves.

Because it is not about glory.  It is not about being exalted in front of others.  It is not about raising in rank.  It is not about being famous.  No, it is all about love.  The same love in Jesus' heart when he died on that cross for us.  That kind of love - the unconditional one, the one that expects nothing in return.

Know this, if I retreat from the limelight - it is because I do not need glory or fame - all I wanted to do was share God's love.  I want to share God's love and give Him all the glory.  You don't need to know who I am, I am just that person who smiles when you come into the room and say hello.  I don't need to be singled out, I am just a servant, I am God's servant - only here when you need me and gone when you don't.  My goal is simple to share God's love and if this is your goal too then I am with you.  But if it is not, then we must go our separate ways - our roads are different.

Love & Marriage Reading Plan: Reflections on Ephesians 5:21-33

Instructions for Christian Households

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body.31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. 

- Ephesians 5:21-33

I think of all the scriptures the modern wife avoids this the most.  Particularly because of the line, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior..."  My mother taught me this at a very young age.  You see, my mother has a very strong and dominant personality - much like I do.  But she purposely submits her will to my father's will.  She respects his wishes and decisions - no matter what the circumstances are.  For decisions that affect our family, she would always consult with my father first before deciding on anything.  This is one of the traits I admire most in my mother.  This and the fact that she believes in my father's wisdom, understanding and love - to know what's best for our family.

Now if I end it here, you will probably come to the conclusion that I have a very old fashioned and paternal family structure.  That is absolutely not true!  Why?  Because we are a Filipino family and because my father heeds the other part of this scripture verse to perfection...

The other part of the scripture says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." My father loves my mother so much that he sacrifices himself for her and for our family, which means that he never goes against her wishes.  He always considers her will before making a decision.  Plus he selflessly gives us his time, does everything he can for us and we are everything to him.  He is the spiritual example my sisters and I aspire to - his strong faith, his peaceful way of living and his devotion to God and to our family.  And before deciding on any matter concerning our family he lovingly considers what each of us need and finds the best solution to any problem.

I feel that I am doubly blessed because my husband is the same way with me.  Although at times my submission to his will needs improvement, he loves me - the same way my father loves my mother.  He loves me so much he sacrifices himself - his needs, his wants, all he can - for me.  And I learn a lot from him, I learn about patience, about loving and about faith.  I fell in love with him because of his strong faith - the faith I witnessed in my father as I was growing up.  I married a great man - just like my father.  I married a man of God - who tries to live his life following the example of Jesus Christ.  And so I must learn to trust him, to bow to his will, to know without a doubt that he will never make a decision that will harm our marriage.

Thank you, Lord - for this man You have given for me to love.  Help me respect his wishes in humility.  Remind me always that he loves me as Jesus loves his Church - and he will give himself for me - to sanctify and cleanse me so that together, our love may live on in Your heavenly kingdom.  Amen.

Sharing My Parents

I have always perceived God as a kind and understanding father who is always there for me. A father who has always provided what is best for me - who tirelessly searches for me when I lose my way, who always waits for me with open arms always ready to forgive and always ready to love. He never runs out of love for me, I am special to Him just the way I am. He guides me through life silently, guiding me to the right path and blessing me abundantly.

I didn't realize that other people may have trouble perceiving God as a loving father - because they never had a loving father on earth. I read this conclusion in an article today and was surprised to have not thought about it before.

My father is a very kind and gentle man. He makes it a point to spend time with us - and lets us know that he is always there for us with his actions more than his words. He is slow to anger - always ready to forgive. He is patient and understanding - as he teaches us the difference between right and wrong - how to live by Jesus' example. He is very protective and very trusting - he believes in us.

I have always taken it for granted that the reason it is easy for me to have a father-daughter relationship with God is because I have such a great father. And the reason I can relate to Mary in a mother-daughter relationship is because I have a very spiritual mother.

In the article I read, the daughter talks about sharing her earthly father to help her congregation realize what it's like to have a good and loving father - just in case they never had a father like that. When she said the word, sharing, I was reminded of a different kind of sharing - more than just sharing how good my parents are and how parents should be by talking about them with others.

I shared my mother and father with our ministry for as long as I can remember. My sisters and I learned to share our quality time with our parents with other people who may need their help. It was easiest for me, I think - because I was already old enough to understand what the ministry is all about when they became very active in it. It was a little more difficult to explain to my baby sister who was too young to understand at the time why our parents could not take her out on weekends all the time - or why our father had to go out of town for long periods of time.

As I grew I became part of my parents' ministry, my faith grew and strengthened because I learned from them through example. I know I am blessed partly because of how faithful my parents have been all these years, they pray for me and God blesses me (however unworthy I am). And my parents blesses me with people who love me - if only because I was willing to share my parents with them. My parents have taught many people by example, they have guided them through crises and problems and they have loved many who didn't have parents to love them.

I have helped bless others by sharing my parents with them. How many daughters can claim that? How many daughters have been blessed with the kind of parents I am blessed with? I thank God every day for them and try to let them know how much I love them every chance I get.

Cherish your parents. They are blessings from God. They are representations of our heavenly father - their love and guidance sees us through long after we claim to be independent.

God's Love In Our Darkest Hour

My Facebook friend shared this video with me and it touched my heart so deeply I cried while watching it.

There was an episode of Hawthorne where this man was in an accident with his girlfriend and was paralyzed from it. He didn't want his girlfriend to see him that way because the world was her oyster - and he didn't want to take that away from her. Translated to the point of view of his girlfriend that meant that she has never faced tough times in her life - everything came easily to her, she was very blessed. And faced with the paralysis of the man she loves, she broke down. She couldn't handle it at first - she'd never gone through any life crisis before, she was unprepared for this and did not know what to do.

I knew how she felt, and although I didn't have it as tough as Kristen Anderson did, I can relate to her feeling of hopelessness. Her period of darkness - in her perfectly blessed life - showed her the light and love of God. Sometimes because our parents have very strong faiths, we follow their actions without actually opening our hearts to the faith - a mimicry type of faith. Sometimes we need the life crisis, the tough times - like carbon needs the fire to become a diamond! And Kristen Anderson has gone through that fire and survived - God saved her in her darkest hour and now she thrives in knowing that God loves her - there is hope!

May you never lose the hope, my friends... God loves you - open your heart to that, accept it and be infinitely blessed.

Prayer for Generosity

"If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself
and take up his cross daily and follow me.
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.
What profit is there for one to gain the whole world
yet lose or forfeit himself?" - Jesus Christ

My Lord, You have given your life for us - because You love us. Thank you for your never-ending and unconditional love. I want to take up my daily cross to follow You. I am struggling today, my Lord. Forgive me for letting anger get the best of me this morning.

Please help me continue to love those who are difficult to love. Help me to take up my cross - of being with generous people who give away my resources without asking. Please give me a more generous heart.

Amen.