Love & Marriage Reading Plan: Reflections on Ephesians 5:21-33

Instructions for Christian Households

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body.31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. 

- Ephesians 5:21-33

I think of all the scriptures the modern wife avoids this the most.  Particularly because of the line, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior..."  My mother taught me this at a very young age.  You see, my mother has a very strong and dominant personality - much like I do.  But she purposely submits her will to my father's will.  She respects his wishes and decisions - no matter what the circumstances are.  For decisions that affect our family, she would always consult with my father first before deciding on anything.  This is one of the traits I admire most in my mother.  This and the fact that she believes in my father's wisdom, understanding and love - to know what's best for our family.

Now if I end it here, you will probably come to the conclusion that I have a very old fashioned and paternal family structure.  That is absolutely not true!  Why?  Because we are a Filipino family and because my father heeds the other part of this scripture verse to perfection...

The other part of the scripture says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." My father loves my mother so much that he sacrifices himself for her and for our family, which means that he never goes against her wishes.  He always considers her will before making a decision.  Plus he selflessly gives us his time, does everything he can for us and we are everything to him.  He is the spiritual example my sisters and I aspire to - his strong faith, his peaceful way of living and his devotion to God and to our family.  And before deciding on any matter concerning our family he lovingly considers what each of us need and finds the best solution to any problem.

I feel that I am doubly blessed because my husband is the same way with me.  Although at times my submission to his will needs improvement, he loves me - the same way my father loves my mother.  He loves me so much he sacrifices himself - his needs, his wants, all he can - for me.  And I learn a lot from him, I learn about patience, about loving and about faith.  I fell in love with him because of his strong faith - the faith I witnessed in my father as I was growing up.  I married a great man - just like my father.  I married a man of God - who tries to live his life following the example of Jesus Christ.  And so I must learn to trust him, to bow to his will, to know without a doubt that he will never make a decision that will harm our marriage.

Thank you, Lord - for this man You have given for me to love.  Help me respect his wishes in humility.  Remind me always that he loves me as Jesus loves his Church - and he will give himself for me - to sanctify and cleanse me so that together, our love may live on in Your heavenly kingdom.  Amen.